Mr Woo
by True Love Always Brucas
Summary: "I am that guy, you know the one, that guy that always says the right thing. The guy that could charm a girl out of her dress before you even leave the restuarant." A Merlin story set in present time about love, lust, and learning to tell the difference.
1. Mr Woo and the oh so adorable Two

Okay guys so I am kind of having a bit of inspiration, I am not repeating that because I know I will totally jinx myself.

Anywho this story kind of just came to me. This is basically an introduction to set some things up, but I want to know if you guys think it might be something you want to read before I really get into writing it, if not ill just chuck it into my heaping pile of suckish stories/ideals and start anew.

I kind of got the ideal from the movie Hitch, with the whole Mr. Woo thing, but the similarities kind of end there.

Anywho as always I dont own anything except an extreme obsession with Bradley Jame's chest muscles, and Colin's cheekbones. Wow to them both.

This is kind of Arthur's Pov with him introducing himself, the bit with the past is in italics, and everything else will be plain ole Times New Romans. Enjoy and please review.

* * *

Arthur here, so for starters I guess I should tell you a little about me. I am that guy, you know the one, that guy that always says the right thing. The guy that could charm a girl out of her dress before you even leave the restuarant. I am not trying to brag, I am just stating facts. That is why when my best friend came to me wanting to get the girl I thought nothing of it, piece of cake, until...

_"Her, Merlin are you kidding me that's.."_  
_"Morgana La Fey I know."_

Yeah it would definitely be my most challenging hookup ever.

_"I thought this would be a piece of cake, but Merlin she's the whole bakery._  
_"I know isn't she like the sweetest, most delicate, most beautiful piece of apple treacle tart you've ever laid your eyes upon."_  
_"Oh bloody hell."_

Morgan La Fey was every man's fantasy women, and that clot was so over the moon for her. Flashforward 5 years later and somehow I managed the impossible, I made the Morgana La Fey over the moon for him too. I know I could not believe it either, but after that moment I knew I had a gift, I mean I already knew but now it was even more clear. If I could manage to hook up the prom queen and the class nerd, I could hook up anyone.

_"You know you should open up your own business."_  
_"Honestly Merlin that is the dumbest idea ever. Should I go in disguise too, maybe get a cape, call myself Mr. Can get you laid if I get paid."_  
_"I was thinking a suit, and maybe Mr. Woo, even though I like where you were going with the name, I am sure it would really go over well with the douche bags of the world."_

And that my friends is how Mr. Woo came to be. Yeah I know I actually took Merlin's advice, but imagine going with the former name and accidently handing a member of the opposite sex your business card. I still have scars in places I dont want to mention.

_"Asshole."_

I swear my ears still ring from her screaming profanities in them. But enough about that nightmare, this story is much more than one good kick to the crotch. This story is like a whole bunch of kicks to the crotch. Yeah I know it sounds painful, and it was, it is, and their is only one person to blame for those nut crunchers, yes I know I am wincing too, her name is...

_"_Morgana."

"Hi Arthur, where is that gorgeous husband of mine."

"Seriously Morgana, Merlin is a lot of things, idiot being one of them, but gorgeous thats a little far fetched even for you."

"Excuse me, my husband is very gorgeous. Have you seen those baby blues, and those cheekbones, dear God I married him because of those cheekbones."

"Oh and here I was thinking it had something to do with loving me or something, but if you'd like to have a moment alone with them be my guest."  
He grabs her from behind, placing his chin inside the crook of her neck as she giggles.

"Oh are you sure you want get jealous."

"Hmmm, I think I'll manage." They smile at each other as he leans down to kiss her.

"Oh dear God, excuse me while I go anywhere but here."

Morgana rolls her eyes playfully.  
"You know Arthur, there is this little thing called love you might want to try it."  
"Sweetie, Arthur doesnt do love, he much prefers lust..about 6 nights a week."

"It is 5 and you know I have a new vat of hot oil at home that I am really thinking about letting you test out."  
Merlin and Morgana laugh.

"Arthur that would have required me picking it up for you, because we all know that you can barely dress yourself without assistance."

"Merlin"

"Yes Master." he says cheekily.  
"Get out."

Arthur smirks as Merlin grabs Morgana's hand and pulls her towards the door.

"Have fun with Veronica, or Viki, I am pretty sure you are up to the Vs in the phonebook now." Before Arthur has a chance to ring his neck he dissapears out the door taking a giggling Morgana with him.

He turns around to go back into his office when he hears Morgana through the door.

"Arthur, I will be ringing you tonight. I have a new client for you that I think you might be able to help, so make sure that violet is done riding you by then."

"Oh yeah Violet, that was her name."

God they are an annoying couple. Good for each other, but Lord help the rest of the world. Any who this is where the story begins. After that fateful phonecall from Morgana everything changed. I am still trying to figure out if it was for the good or the bad, haven't really got to the ending yet. I guess will have to wait and see, but for now let the nut cruching begin. Ooh still wincing.

* * *

Okay,so what do you think. Are you at the edge of your seat wanting more, or passed out on your couch from boredom? Please let me know the suspense will be killing me!

Okay, so I totally dont know what you feel about the whole MERGona pairing, but I seriously love them. I think they have these great cheeky attitudes and they both love to speak their minds, which totally makes for an adorable dynamic duo and a fun couple to write. However fear not my lovely Arwen fans, Gwen is alive and well and will be appearing possibly next chapter. How will she be involved with the rest of the characters, I guess only time will tell.

Coming up next will be the Arthur/Morgana talk which will contain lots of friendly teasing banter because they are ever so good at it. Plus, a few MerGona moments because they are both brunette and perfect for each other, and a lot of Arthur, well being Arthur and looking hot in suits, oh cant you just picture it.

Okay so as always I love all my wonderful reviwers, my lurkers, my alerters, favoriters, and general fanfiction stalkers. You all rock and keep me inspired, and if any of you have a thought or an ideal for the story feel free to put in your own sense, Lord knows I could use it.

Until next time  
I love you all to kibbles and bits.


	2. Swords, clients, and whips oh my

Hey guys thanks for you wonderful reviews, I am really glad that you guys are intrigued by this story. I am still working out the kinks but I think I pretty much know where I want it to go, at least I hope I do.

Anyway this second ch. starts out with "The Phone Call." yep its the life changing one, not like Publishing Clearinghouse, but still its pretty dang important lol.

Okay so this is still kind of sitting up stuff, and it might be a bit confusing but as we go on everything will start to make sense...at least I hope.

Disclaimer: As usual own nothing, Bradley James would be a nice hot piece of man to add to my collection;)

* * *

"I take it Miss V. got her exercise and went on her merry way."

"Well hello to you too Morgona always a pleasure."

"Yes i am."  
She could almost hear the eyeroll.

"I'm sure you are exhausted it is quite tiring to be mounted for hours at a time so I'll make this quick."

"I will try to pretend that you weren't implying anything by that."

"If that will help you sleep at night."  
"Mordred, young man what have i told you about playing with swords, put that down. Merlin do something with your son. Yes I said your son, yes he is definitely yours when he is acting that way. Well I am just the epitome of good, so he couldn't havegotten it from me."

Arthur couldn't help but chuckle at this. From Mordred playingwith swords, to Morgana saying she was the epitome of good, it was just too much, they should have their own sitcom. The Crazy Ass Family Show.

"Oh do not laugh Mr. I totally blame you Arthur, what possibly goes through a man's head that he thinks it is a good ideal to get his godson swords for his fourth birthday."

"Oh I don't know I guess it had something to do with me gettingto be amused by moments like these, and the pleasure of seeing you go prematurely gray."

"Bite your tongue. Merlin will still love me when I am gray isn't that right honey."

"Oh God can we make this quick, so I don't have to hear thecrack of your whip on your huband any longer."

"I am not whipped" Merlin yells from the background.

"Yes you are" Morgana and Arthur whisper into the line before laughing.

"Okay, okay, so who is this client that you want me to help. I am intrigued." Arthur says after regaining his ability to speak.

"Well this person is really great. Amazing face, bloody hilarious personality, sweet, bit of a romantic."

"Well Morgana if I didn't know any better I would think that this person was my twin, you just described me down to a tee."

"Ha, I think it is getting late, because you are getting delusional. Look I have to go because Mordred is tying up his father as we speak, but just meet them at Rutland Arms in Hammersmith."

Rutland Arms why did that sound so familiar.

"Oh Morgana I almost forgot, what is this man's name."

"Oh um well we just call them G. Gotta go bye."

**CLICK**

Well that was strange even for Morgana. G, what was he like P Diddy, did they call this guy G. Money. This could be worse than helping out " La Fey".

* * *

Arthur drove across the Hammersmith bridge. Dejavu that is what ran through his mind the closer he got to the pub. He could not quite shake the feeling that he had been here before. He took a

moment to admire the view, it really was a sight to behold. Pulling up to the riverside, he spots the pub, but cannot make out any people. He gets out of the car and makes his way over,

taking a moment to admire the view, it really was breathtaking. He can make out a figure over at a table. He gets a little bit closer and his breath catches in his throat.

Talk about breathtaking.

A woman with long brown curly hair, sits alone lost in her thoughts peering out at the river. The sun seems to be entranced by her as well, dancing across her face, illuminating it in all its golden wonder.

She turns when she hears approaching footsteps.

If anyone had been around at that moment, a simultaneous gasp would be all they heard followed by a unison realization...

"Guinivere?"

"Arthur."

* * *

Dun Dun Dun! OMG so like they know each other? Okay what did you think, you as confused as I am? So finally the ever so stunning Gwen makes her grand entrance...well kind of.

okay guys I gotta say my favorite part was writing about Mordred tying up Merlin lol I can totally picture it, that little demon child

Alright guys now the story is going to start rolling. Next chapter is a bit of a flashback, and it's entitled Sleeping or sleeping with. I will let you infer whatever you want from that.

PS: Thanks for the review guys seriously I dont know how much I like this story, I am having fun writing it I just hope it sounds better to you than it does in my head!

PSS: s11235: you are kind of on the right track with your thoughts. Lets just say that Mr. Lancelot plays a role in this story. Heck he's very fine, so even if he is just a stranger walking by I had to add some of that incredible sexiness in.

Please keep reviewing and as always...

I love you all to kibbles and bits


End file.
